Fun alternatives to sir and ma'am
because during Pride Month, we're doubling down on the Joy in Justice
As we start off LGBTQ+ Pride Month, a brief remembrance.
It was just after Easter in 2004. I was on the north side of chicago for some reason, and had stepped into the Walgreens to buy leftover Cadbury eggs. I didn’t see there was someone in line and stepped in front of them.
They let me know they were there first. I apologized profusely. “I’m sorry, sir. Ma’am. Sir. Ma’am.” I kept saying it, mortified as I realized I did not know their gender and therefore didn’t know how to offer them a term of respect.
They laughed kindly and said “yeah, gender is such a weird construct, right?”
I think that might be when I switched to using the term friend. Turns out it works even better for me than sir or ma’am as a term of relationship and respect to strangers. And it avoids the messiness of guessing someone’s gender.
I dated someone who used to call me “beautiful human” and I loved it SO MUCH, even when I discovered that’s what they called everyone.
Here’s a lovely graphic image capturing a number of ways to greet a group in a gender-neutral way:
I found it on this page, which provides descriptions of many of the terms here by way of an expanded image description.
We know that “sir” and “ma’am” are terms meant to offer respect. When they might create harm instead, what are some of YOUR favorite alternative gender-neutral terms to use?
Grateful to be on the journey with you!
Peace,
Sandhya
What's keeping me dancing!
The first week of the month, the Joy in Justice newsletter features a song that's helping Sandhya stay energized for the work.
I already LOVED this song before I learned that Shea Diamond spent ten years in a men's prison for committing a crime to pay for her gender-affirming surgery, where she says she found her truest voice. This month I'm listening to this phenomenal tune with a whole other level of appreciation for where it comes from. I hope you enjoy it as well. Here's the link.